We’ve previously written that we subscribe to the letter and the spirit of the well-known quote from Pres. John F. Kennedy’s only inaugural address: “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”  Which is why, over many years of observing the workings of local government and the way certain residents or groups of residents exploit it, we’ve come to the conclusion that there are two basic groups: net tax payers (the “NTPs”) and the net tax users (the “NTUs”).

Regular readers of this blog will not be surprised by the admission that we don’t particularly like the NTUs – which is why we sometimes refer to them as “freeloaders.”   It’s nothing personal, mind you.  It’s more a public policy thing, and a matter of prioritizing the needs of the NTPs along the lines of what JFK was talking about.

That usually sends certain readers into paroxysms of outrage, which both amuses us and makes us happy.

And in search for some new amusement and happiness, we found an article in the Park Ridge Herald-Advocate that seemed to fit the bill, titled: “District 64 punts on full-day kindergarten until new superintendent takes over” (March 25, 2014)

The article talks about one of our “favorite” (i.e., most loathesome) governmental devices, the survey.

We loathe governmental surveys because they always seem to be commissioned to produce results that the governmental body, or some significant faction of it, wants – but for which it feels the need to fabricate some supporting data in order to provide sufficient political cover for the public officials who will approve it.

In this most recent case, the survey was another one of those easily-manipulated “on-line” ones commissioned by the Board of Park Ridge-Niles School District 64 to find out whether parents of D-64 students wanted the proposed full-day kindergarten program.  The results, as reported in the H-A article: 79% of all surveyed parents and 86% of surveyed parents of current pre-school students supported FREE full-day kindergarten in their neighborhood school.

We could have predicted that in our sleep.  For free.

But when those on-line survey takers were asked if they would be willing to PAY for the extra half-day kindergarten program in their neighborhood school, guess what?  Only 32% of all surveyed parents, and only 35% of surveyed pre-school parents, answered “probably yes.”

We could have predicted that in our sleep, too.  Also for free.

That’s because NTUs (a/k/a freeloaders) only want things if they are free or, at the very least, where the benefits to them substantially outweigh their costs – with the difference being made up by the NTPs.  That’s why, for example, many/most parents of D-64 kids want no expenses spared by the District: if they are paying $12,000 a year in property taxes and $4,000 of it goes to D-64, they’re still ahead the approximately $9,000+ difference between that $4,000 and D-64’s roughly $13,000 per-student cost.  Throw a second student in the mix and the delta is a whopping $22,000+.

Per year.  Every year they have at least one kid in the D-64 schools.

Multiply that by 9 years (grades K-8) and we’re talking between $81,000 to almost $200,000 of benefits over costs for two children.  Add a third or fourth kid and it becomes almost obscene, albeit ecstasy for the NTUs.

Not surprisingly, our favorite School Board member, John Heyde, did what he has done so well for so long.  He supported the full-day kindergarten…but only if it could be done for free.  Heyde can’t bring himself to make parents who what amounts to enhanced babysitting pay for it when the NTPs remain so fat and docile.

And also not surprisingly, Scott Zimmerman – the Charlie McCarthy to Heyde’s Edgar Bergen – was for it, too.  Go figure.

Lori Hinton, Ass’t Sup’t for Student Learning who reported on the survey results at this past Monday (03.24.14) night’s meeting, added the proper dose of edu-bureaucratese by telling the Board to survey K-1 teachers, study the space requirements, and make sure they get all the “stakeholders” on board with the decision.  In other words, D-64?s minister of propaganda, Bernadette Tramm, had better prepare for some overtime if she’s going to bamboozle those “stakeholders” if/when the decision is made to go forward with the program when new Supt. Laurie Heinz shows up this summer.

Of course, nobody at D-64 thought about going out of their way to survey the NTPs.  That might skew the desired results, which were effectively manipulated by the District’s posting an announcement of the survey on its website on February 24, e-mailing the survey link directly to all D-64 parents (but not the NTPs), distributing it to area pre-schools (but not the NTPs), and closing the survey site on March 10.

We could find no press release about the survey, nor any story about it in the H-A or the Park Ridge Journal during the two weeks the survey process was going on and NTPs could respond.  Chalk that up to Ms. Tramm’s deft touch and knowing when silence is golden.

We aren’t ready to predict which way this decision will go.  If the NTPs wake up and realize that they might end up footing the bill for free enhanced babysitting service for the NTUs, they might start making nasty phone calls to their elected school board members and demanding explanations.

That’s when those bogus on-line surveys prove their worth. 

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